While no household is without its share of arguments and disagreements, it’s important to note that how these conflicts are handled can have a lasting effect on children in the home.

How often the parents fight; how intense, angry, or hurtful the arguments are; and how long such conflicts last are all factors in the child’s adjustment. Interestingly, a study by the University of York found that the arguments that parents have during the marriage tend to have longer-lasting effects on children than the actual split itself.

In addition to hurting a child’s ability to identify and control emotions, aggression between parents can negatively impact a child’s academic performance. Conflict in the home affects a child’s stress hormones, altering his or her brain functioning over time. This can lead to impaired thinking, lack of problem-solving and reasoning skills, and memory problems.

According to Rabbi Yisroel Roll, a licensed child psychotherapist, parental conflict can lead to a drop in a child’s emotional security. “A child needs emotional safety and security in order to thrive academically and socially,” he says. “The environment in the home between the parents creates that sense of security. That’s the child’s world. When there is conflict, argument, [and] tension between the parents, that basically shatters the secure safety net of the children.”

When parents successfully resolve arguments, children can learn important, positive lessons that can help them navigate their own emotions and relationships inside and outside the home.

Family therapist Sheri Glucoft Wong shares her top five tips to help parents resolve conflict, maintain a loving relationship, and role-model effective problem-solving for children: